What is self-improvement exactly? I believe it has a certain stigma about “positivity only,” and, “don’t be sad.” Self-improvement has nothing to do with that, though. It is purely the idea of improving oneself.
On a lifestyle note, it is about changing your life and self to bring yourself closer to whatever your ideal might be. It’s a journey, not a destination. A problem many people face is their approach to self-improvement being goal-oriented, rather than goal-pursuit oriented.
This said, some cases are extreme and should be dealt with by professionals. My articles are no substitute for that. The advice here can be situational and is not tailored for every individual.
As Richard Bagozzi and Jordan Peterson have said, positive emotion derived from goal-pursuit rather than achievement motivates longevity in self-improvement. Setting a goal and then focusing on incremental, day-by-day effort is how you activate these anticipatory pursuit centers.
It’s not about being a legend, nor about being better than others. It’s about helping yourself across time in the pursuit of a greater future for both yourself and the most important people around you.
In that vein, however, there are some things that you should be careful of. What is self-Improvement? It’s not a religion. It’s not a business. It’s not someone else’s duty. It’s your choice to give yourself and those around you a better life.
Self-Improvement is a Choice
Period. If someone is not ready, that is their choice. If you are prepared, make moves for yourself.
This needs to be said for all the toxicity of pushing ideas onto others. Writing and researching for an audience who has made that choice is fine, of course. However, we often try to push improvement on our friends, families, and partners.
“Look at me! I changed so much because I started my journey! It’s been amazing for me, so you MUST do it as well. Who wouldn’t want to get better, right?”
Your choice might lead to great results. It might have even happened quickly. You focus on the result you achieved and want others to have that as well. It’s all well-intentioned, maybe, but the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
Resist the urge to enforce and urge people around you to follow in your steps! Listen, even if they did, the result would inevitably be different. You might pressure them in a way that is NOT conducive to their personal growth. Your growth comes from every small step you took, and all these steps will be different for each person. Your choices are not someone else’s.
Your Improvement is not Someone Else’s
Let’s face it; everyone moves at different paces in life. Some people are the hare, while others are the tortoise. Of course, there is nothing wrong with having a different pace. That is, until you force your ideas on someone else.
Don’t get it twisted; help and support is always a good thing. When done well, you can boost someone’s morale. Many people DO want to improve. They are working towards that end.
Yet, their process might not be the same as yours. What works for you might not work for them. I’ve experienced this many times.
Someone comes to me to tell me about their progress or talk about a problem they are facing. I, in all of my grand stupidity, offer, not my ear to listen, but my mouth to advise or judge. Though not my intention, I directly or indirectly invalidated their experience and pushed my own onto them.
You MUST NOT push your experience onto someone else, though. If you offer your advice, then make it clear that it is based on yourself, and it might not be the right choice for that person.
I, personally, make a point to indicate this in my articles. While backed by science and/or other experiences, I am no expert, and what you choose to take away from my articles is up to you. Though I do hope I can offer some actionable advice still.
Be an Inspiration, NOT a Pest
Most people who are looking to improve want a better life. Whether it be for themselves or someone else, they seek a better place in life. That is a wonderful thing to reach for. As I’ve said, though, not everyone wants to improve.
Some people are happy with their place in life, some are content with it, and some might not be ready for change. Others are making progress at their own pace. Whatever the reason, self-improvement is not the focus of their daily lives. That is wonderful as well!
Just because you might want to “be a better you” or “live your best life,” does not mean everyone else around is centered on that. In your self-improvement journey, be careful not to push your ideals and goals onto people around you.
Indeed, you should encourage people to help themselves. To those who do want to improve, you can provide your support and tips.
However, many people are too busy for that. They didn’t ask for your tips, for articles and videos about why they “aren’t doing what they should be to be rich in three years,” or anything like that.
Share your progress, be proud of yourself, and let your friends support you. Be an inspiration and an example of what is possible, but don’t set out to change other people. “Be the change you want to see in the world” means to be the example that others can follow, inspire others to act themselves. Don’t tell them to work. Show them how you act and let each person decide. You’ll merely become a pest if you preach too much.
What is Self-Improvement?
What is self-improvement? It’s a life-long journey. It’s a choice we all make. Whether spending time focused on it or not, when we do it, and how we approach it, all of it is a choice we make. Self-improvement is an idea to embody for ourselves and those around us. We should look to be inspirations, not enforcers.
What is self-improvement to you? What are your goals or achievements? What kind of things would you like to hear about in future articles? Let us know so we can support each other and give our community the things they want!