Change is not easy. People want to change themselves and how they feel, but it is often not as simple as just not feeling those emotions. Emotions are complicated and manifest in many different ways. Sometimes you’ll act on your emotions and only realize afterward that it was a mistake. By then, however, it is too late.
You might want to change how you feel about certain situations. That means you need to be in those situations many times to learn for yourself. So, in situations when you want to change how you feel, the best thing to do is to change your actions. Changing your actions will influence your emotions and how you see the situation.
How You Manifest Emotions is Important
There are times when someone is upset with how you handle a situation. Maybe you are controlling in your relationship and don’t like it when your partner goes out and doesn’t talk to you.
Research shows that uncertainty causes anxiety, and people who are controlling will experience more uncertainty. Negative feelings and anxiety bubble up, then, and you take those feelings and practically interrogate your partner about what is going on!
You ask questions, constantly text them, and make them feel bad. Afterward, they are upset with you and did not enjoy what should have been a fun evening. It’s too late to take back what you’ve done, even if you didn’t mean to do it.
Your partner will think you don’t trust them even if you do all because you couldn’t control your actions.
You manifested your emotions of anxiety by taking it out on your partner, which caused them stress and anxiety. No one wins.
Self-Control Helps Define Your Actions
Developing self-control will help you in the moments you are feeling some kind of way. Sure, maybe you have these negative feelings during situations you don’t like, and you don’t understand why.
You may want to improve yourself to not feel that way, but it takes more time than you have. To not force your own insecurities on those around you, you must learn not to act on negativity.
It isn’t easy, but with self-control, you can shape the situation and learn without hurting the people around you. Instead of interrogating your partner, maybe you can sit down with them after and talk about how you feel. Explain that you may still be bothered, but will not act the same from now on. They will appreciate you more for this.
This will also help to build trust and communication between you and your partner. They will feel safe in their own actions, but also understand your issues as well and that you are trying to work on them.
Emotions Will Follow Action
The way we act in the world influences how we feel about things. For instance, if you smile often, your brain interprets that as happiness and produces small doses of the chemicals serotonin and endorphins. Thus, your actions have affected your emotions.
Likewise, if you act aggressively and hurt others, your brain will produce chemicals like cortisol, which fuels anxiety.
If this is the case, then naturally, the way you act when you are in a stressful situation will affect your emotions as well. If you lash out and act reactively, then you’ll produce increased levels of stress and anxiety, both now and later.
However, taking control of your actions in a positive, constructive manner will lead to the opposite result. You not only rewire your neuron paths to react positively in the future, but you also generate fewer anxieties and negative emotions.
Your Actions Will Gain Respect
It’s hard to control ourselves when clouded by emotion, but doing so will gain you respect from those you care about. When you want to send those texts, and you don’t, people will take notice. If you usually force someone to sit down and talk to you about things for too long and stop doing that, the person will feel more at ease.
Not to say don’t talk about the situation, but reacting negatively every time you feel bad will push people away. Properly sorting your own emotions without resorting to bad habits will gain you respect, and your relationships will grow stronger as you sort yourself out.
Not everyone handles things at the same speed, and sometimes it won’t be fast enough for people around. However, if you take care and don’t do things you’ll regret, it will shape how people see you and eventually how you think, feel, and react. You will create new, healthy habits that will ultimately change you in the direction you want. Remember, every choice matters, so you might as well make a good choice.
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