Grief is a long and hard process. It’s rarely the same and never straight forward. The worst part, aside from being a sack of sad, is that you’ll never truly know the best or healthiest action in the moment. There is something to be said about people who come out of grief stronger and better, though. They are self-learners with a growth mindset. Their grief isn’t any easier, but they will use their sorrow and pain as fuel to improve. Here is a list of ways you, too, can tackle your grief for a positive result:
Wallow in the Good
One of the most common things people do is to wallow. There is nothing wrong with being in tune with your feelings. You have to accept your emotions. However, wallowing in self-pity and sadness can become toxic if left unchecked. One way to counter this is to wallow and reflect on the things that were great! One study on positive emotion shows that using positive emotions to cope with the negative ones can foster stronger mental health.
Remember the good things you had, the best times, and the things that you will miss because it was wonderful. It will still hurt, but you will remember the person or time in a positive light. This will lead to a healthier outcome where you can be happy for the good times eventually, rather than spiteful about the bad times.
Distract Yourself with Productivity
There are times when wallowing will be too much. The crushing weight of loss or sorrow will make life too painful to bear. You should find something productive to do instead! It can be something small or big. When I find myself overwhelmed, I will do menial tasks that don’t require too much effort. Things like: cleaning my desk, washing dishes, doing laundry. It keeps my mind just busy enough without stressing me out.
Though you won’t forget the problem, and the pain won’t vanish, you will lessen the burden on yourself for a time. It will also be a step toward improvement. One hundred small steps like this are a massive leap. Your future self will thank you later. If you think you don’t have the energy to do this, then listen up.
Turn Your Anger into Energy
Turning your emotions like anger into energy is what will give you the drive to be all right. Anger, sorrow, loss, all of these emotions will rage through you when you grieve. By harnessing these emotions and turning them into positive, productive energy, you can eliminate stagnation.
Some times you will need to wallow, of course. However, when that is too much, or you have a burst of motivation, use your emotions to make a positive change. Clean your room, workout, talk to friends, or partake of your hobbies. There’s plenty you can do!
Vow to Change and Start NOW
Now is the best time to start anything. People often vow to never be in their same position again. It’s too much pain, too much suffering. They will swear up and down that it will never happen again, and they will change. However, six months pass and they forget their pain. They know it sucks, but the feeling is gone. DON’T WAIT! Vow to change now and start while it still hurts! You will set up a strong environment and healthy habits that will continue even after the motivation has gone away.
Develop Healthy Habits
The energy you have and vows you make can be put into setting healthy habits. Small things that make a significant impact in the long run are critical. Health, productivity, and relaxation habits are great places to start. The internet has a wealth of resources on good habits and how to form them.
Unlike when you only kind of want to change, the small steps you take now will be reinforced by your determination to get out of your current position. They will snowball until you are better, and, when established, they will change your life. Once they are habits, you don’t even need to think about doing them!
Craft Your Healing Environment
Another great choice is to change the environment around you as best you can to help you get better. If talking to people helps you heal, set up your life so you have more time to talk. If seeing certain items from your lost loved one or partner hurts you, put them away until you can handle it. Don’t sit in an environment that promotes your sorrow.
Make it so that the things you want to do and change are the path of least resistance. This, too, will carry over after you have healed and will lead to a stronger, more productive and positive life.
Grief is difficult, but it is not the end. There is light on the other end of the tunnel. Your job is to get through the tunnel in the best condition possible. Not perfect, but in one piece. You aren’t alone, and you can get better. If no one else, I want you to become a powerful force of good in the world. You will have to overcome the hardships to do that. Trust that you will get better and, if you follow these six tips, you will be stronger than ever before.
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